Parking Lot Fender Benders

By Porter C. Taylor

I have never been a fan of the sound of my own voice. For those who know me as someone who preaches, teaches, or talks about Manchester United and literary fiction, this may come as a bit of a surprise. I tend to use more words in a day than most people do in a week.

As I was driving away from Holy Cross Anglican Church in Loganville, GA during the summer of 2006, I thought it might be a good idea to listen to my recently recorded (and first ever) sermon. I put the CD into the disc drive in my Nissan Sentra–yes, I am that old–and waited for the audio to begin. This was my first mistake…

The opportunity to preach a sermon for the first time on a Sunday morning had been overwhelming. My previous speaking experiences had come within the context of youth ministry, but this sermon was to be one of my final acts as part of my summer employment. I had big plans for the sermon: I was going to re-write the Nicene Creed satirically and had dubbed the rendition “The Doubters Creed.” Rebecca gave me a loving and necessary nudge in the right direction and I abandoned my 20-year-old-know-it-all-full-of-arrogance plans and returned to the lectionary texts.

I preached at both services that morning with family, friends, and students from the youth group in attendance. I was nervous and excited and full of questions. What do you do with your hands? Should I stand still or move around? What if my voice cracks and I fall down the chancel steps and what if…? You can see how my mind was firing on all cylinders.

So, when I walked past the table outside of the Nave on the following Sunday, I was delightedly surprised to find a CD with my name on it. I grabbed the disc and immediately put it into the drive to accompany me on my 30-minute trek home.

Spoiler: I did not listen for long.

My voice came on through the speaker system in my Nissan and I was horrified. Is that how I really sound? Is that what my voice actually sounds like in real life? My ears were so attuned to the noises coming through the recording that I was distracted from everything else around me…including the pickup truck in front of me which had come to a stop (along with the rest of traffic). I did not stop my car until I had hit the rear of his bumper.

Yes, friends, that’s right: I was so anxious and disturbed by the sound of my own voice that I had a fender bender in the church parking lot.

Moving beyond that embarrassing and non-ticket-able-moment, I had the joyful privilege of recording two podcast episodes which went live last week. The first to “drop” was my segment on The Podluck Podcast with Megan Westra. I was asked to answer the question, “What does it mean to be saved?” in 20 minutes or less. A dangerous task because remember, I like using words. I opted to answer the question from the angle of narrative theology. You can listen to the whole episode.

The second podcast episode to go live was my interview with Ian Lasch of All Things Rite and Musical regarding the #schmemannvolume (We Give Our Thanks Unto Thee). Ian and I had a great time talking all things liturgical theology, Schmemann, and prayer book. You can listen to it here.

I would love for you to listen to both of these episodes, but reader-turned-listener beware: my voice can sometimes lead to parking lot fender benders. Listen at your own risk. Buckle your seat belt. Keep both eyes on the road. Let the dulcet tones overwhelm you…happy listening!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s